


Three’s Company

by Squishmitten



Category: Holby City
Genre: Berena Mashed Potato Ficathon, Clunge, F/F, Marcus Piper mashed, Potato faced men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 02:07:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14534358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squishmitten/pseuds/Squishmitten
Summary: Serena and Bernie go to an awards ceremony where they make a new friend who has a useless boyfriend.





	Three’s Company

“Do I really have to go to this thing, Serena? You know this isn’t my cup of tea. I don’t like the dressing up or the networking,” moaned Bernie.

 

“There is no networking required, darling. It’s an awards ceremony. And yes, you do really have to go. For several key reasons. You’re the co-lead of AAU, you’re the driving force behind the trauma unit. More importantly, you are my wife, we’re each other’s plus one, and you’re nominated for one of the bloody awards! Now go and get your beautiful bum into that dress and get ready for an evening of me ogling you, Ms Wolfe.” Serena patted said beautiful bum and returned to applying the finishing touches to her makeup. 

 

“You ogling  _ me _ ? How am I meant to keep my eyes off you for a single moment when you’re wearing that? And when I know exactly what you’re wearing underneath it too.” Bernie’s eyes glazed over as she thought about the black lacy lingerie beneath Serena’s gorgeous dress.

 

“If you play your cards right Berenice, you can be the one who removes it later. Only if you’re dressed and ready within the next 15 to 20 minutes though, because the cab is due in half an hour. I’ll be downstairs enjoying a delicious glass of Shiraz. Should you be ready in time, you’re welcome to join me.” Hoping that was sufficient incentive for her reluctant wife, Serena left the bedroom, making sure to add an extra sexy sway to her hips as she went.

  
  
  


“You look nice Auntie Serena. I do think you’re wearing too much makeup though. It’s more than you usually have on,” observed Jason.

 

Serena was perched on the edge of the sofa, not wanting to risk creasing her evening dress. It was far from the most relaxing pose, but the glass of wine in her hand would help with that.

 

“Thank you, Jason.” There was more than a hint of sarcasm in Serena’s tone. “The heavier, more dramatic makeup is appropriate for the formality of both the event and my outfit. Now, what time is Alan picking you up again?”

 

“In 45 minutes. We’re having a takeaway pizza and we’re going to watch Wonder Woman, followed by Justice League. Alan is quite a fan of Gal Gadot, although I prefer Lynda Carter myself. Who do you prefer, Auntie Serena?”

 

She took a sip of wine, “Definitely Lynda Carter for me too Jason. Have you got everything you need for staying over at Alan’s?”

 

“Yes of course I have. I always have a bag prepared just in case.” He looked up, over Serena’s shoulder. “Oh Auntie Bernie, you look very nice. I’ve never seen you in a dress before. You aren’t wearing lots and lots of makeup like Auntie Serena is. I see you have brushed your hair though.”

 

Serena turned, to see Bernie standing looking adorably awkward and self-conscious in the doorway. Her heart started racing at the sight of her wife, who as Jason had noted was lightly, but beautifully made up.

 

“Er, ha. Well for me, I am wearing a lot of makeup Jason. I don’t usually really wear any, so this is out of the ordinary.” She looked over at her wife, “Do you have that glass of wine for me Serena? Serena?”

 

Serena was transfixed by the sight of Bernie in the figure hugging black gown. High necked and long sleeved, it was very modest but god, she looked amazing! Elegant, sophisticated and sexy as hell. 

 

“What? Oh, er well the cab will be here in a few minutes, so why not share mine?”

 

Bernie gave a husky laugh. “Sharing your glass of Shiraz? It must be love.”

 

“Head over heels, darling. Head over heels.” Standing up and handing her glass to Bernie, Serena murmured in her wife’s ear “and I plan on showing you  _ just _ how much, when we get home tonight, my love.”

 

“Serena-” 

 

“Before you ask, yes we do have to go tonight. No, there’s no way we can get out of it. Yes, there’s plenty of cover on the ward because Raf and Morven are perfectly capable. We are representing AAU and the trauma unit and Henrik would have our guts for garters if we bailed. Now drink up and get your shoes on, there’s the cab.”

 

**

 

The speeches were over and the awards all handed out. Bernie won her award - “Obviously, you were always going to win it!” Serena had said, with an eye roll when Bernie had been surprised to hear her name called out. So surprised that she hadn’t thought to prepare any kind of acceptance speech. Serena found it adorable that the few stuttered and mumbled words Bernie  _ did _ manage were all thanking variously her co-lead, Serena Campbell, and her wife. 

 

“Come on, let’s get a drink in you, shall we, my darling? We might as well take advantage of the free bar. You grab us a plate of nibbles from the buffet, then secure us a couple of seats and I’ll go and brave the scrum.” With a light kiss on her wife’s lips, Serena made a beeline towards the busy bar and the prospect of a couple of large glasses of hopefully half decent Shiraz. 

 

“Trust a free bar to be mobbed when there’s a room full of medics.” Serena muttered to herself. She wondered if she could charm the bar staff into giving her a bottle or two, to save another lengthy wait in the queue.

 

“There is nothing like a group of doctors to take full advantage of free booze, sure enough.”

 

Serena felt a light touch on her shoulder and turned to see an attractive young redhead, who held out her hand to shake. “Hi, I’m Siobhan, and seeing you has brightened my evening no end.”

 

“Serena. Pleased to meet you. How have I brightened your evening, pray tell?” She was amused by the young woman’s bold approach. 

 

“The sight of a beautiful woman such as yourself would always be welcome, but in a room full of so many stuffy, boring men, it is a particular pleasure, Serena.” 

 

They shuffled forward a few inches as the crowd around the bar shifted. 

 

“Are you a doctor yourself?” 

 

Siobhan inclined her head. “I am. I’m merely a lowly F1 at St James’s though. I’m here with my boyfriend, as his plus one.”

 

“The look on your face suggests the relationship isn’t going too well. You don’t seem terribly enthusiastic about the boyfriend.” 

 

“That is an understatement. I’ve been trying to find the right time to call it a day with him. Do you think that me going home with the most beautiful woman in the room would give him a hint?” Siobhan brushed a light finger along Serena’s forearm. 

 

“I already have plans to do so, Siobhan. That’s my wife, sitting over there.” Serena pointed over to Bernie who was engaged in eating a sausage roll and oblivious to the pastry crumbs scattering the front of her black dress. Serena had taken great pleasure in running her fingers through the silky blonde hair earlier on, restoring it to its usual unruly mess of waves, when they had retreated to the ladies after the ceremony to ‘powder their noses’. Also known as snogging Bernie senseless, to help calm her down. She had never looked lovelier in Serena’s eyes. 

 

“Ah. Well you can’t blame a girl for trying.” Siobhan’s face dropped.

 

The young doctor looked so crestfallen that Serena couldn’t help but take pity on her. “Look, help me charm a couple of bottles of Shiraz from behind the bar and you’re welcome to keep us company, if you’re avoiding your soon to be ex-boyfriend.”

 

“He’s off ‘pressing the flesh’ as he insists on calling it. The phrase makes me cringe, personally. He wouldn’t come for the awards ceremony itself because he wasn’t nominated for anything. Cruelly overlooked in his opinion. Mediocre surgeon in everyone else’s. This is his idea of a date, by the way. Bringing me somewhere with free food and drink, then fucking off to ooze and schmooze his way around the room.”

 

“I practically had to drag Bernie kicking and screaming here tonight, and she  _ was  _ a nominee. Oh thank god, there’s an opening at the bar. Quickly!” Serena deftly swooped in to secure a space against the wooden counter, Siobhan right behind her. A couple of minutes later they were triumphantly bearing two bottles of semi-decent Shiraz and three glasses back to Bernie. Serena made the introductions.

 

“So, Siobhan if this boyfriend is so bad, what made you go out with him in the first place?” Serena asked, filling the redhead’s glass.

 

Siobhan rolled her eyes and shrugged. “Well, what I took for a sophisticated consultant in his sports car turned out to be a slightly sad middle-aged man in his midlife crisis-mobile.” 

 

Serena gave Bernie a pointed look.

 

“Hey, my MX5 is  _ not  _ a midlife crisis-mobile, thank you very much Serena! It was my ‘entering civilian life’ consolation present to myself.” Bernie looked affronted. 

 

“I freely admit to doing the whole midlife, upgrading to a far, far sportier model thing.” Serena smiled into her wine glass. 

 

“Really Serena? Your Saab was nice enough, but I wouldn’t have said that either it nor your VW were particularly sporty.” 

 

“Oh I’m not talking about cars, my darling.” Serena looked at her wife and winked.

 

Siobhan laughed at Bernie’s blushes. “You two are adorable. I think I should just stick to relationships with women. We’re so much more grown up than men of any age. I mean, get this ladies, the supposedly sophisticated, medical professional insists on referring to my vagina as a… and I cannot believe I am going to say this to the pair of you, insists on calling it a ‘clunge’. Have you heard the like?” She looked embarrassed to have even give voice to the crude euphemism.

 

“God, you’re giving me flashbacks!” Bernie exclaimed, “My ex husband used to call it a ‘snatch’. It made me want to punch him repeatedly. Rather than resort to violence though, I would just go and sleep in the spare room for a few nights. He grew out of it eventually. What about you, Serena? Did Edward show any more sophistication?”

 

Serena threw her head back and chuckled, rather cynically. “Edward was far too busy dipping his wick in as many as he possibly could, to find the time to name them, darling.”

 

“My friends keep saying ‘What do you see in him, Shiv? He’s a cheapskate with no charisma, a tiny cock and a face like a spud!’ And you know what? They’re not wrong.” Siobhan shook her head ruefully. 

 

Serena leaned over and patted the younger woman on the knee. “Don’t worry Siobhan, it’s not uncommon. Even the best of us have fallen for potato-faced men at some point. At least you didn’t marry yours!” The three of them burst out laughing at that, with Bernie’s distinctive seal-like bark ringing out across the room. 

 

“My flatmates are terrible. They insist on referring to him as Marcus Piper and I’ve had to bite my tongue on several occasions to stop myself calling him that to his face.” Siobhan chuckled, oblivious to the look being shared between Serena and Bernie. 

 

“Erm. Marcus? That wouldn’t be Marcus Dunn, would it?” Bernie asked tentatively.

 

“Oh no. Have I totally put my foot in it? Jesus, I’ve been slagging off your close personal friend, haven’t l? Will I ever learn?” Siobhan buried her face in her hands.

 

Bernie shifted a little uncomfortably in her chair, twisting her fingers together, nervously. She looked imploringly over at Serena, wordlessly asking her to take on the task of explaining the past relationship.

 

“Quite the contrary my dear. You’ve been slagging off Bernie’s pratt of an ex-husband!” 

 

Siobhan jerked upright, shocked. She looked from Bernie to Serena and back again. 

 

“You’re the ex? He will never even bring himself to say your name. He also likes to give the impression you’re some jack-booted butch, stomping about the place. Oddly enough, there was no hint of the beautiful and talented woman in his ramblings. Nor that you left him for the gorgeous Serena either. Who could blame you, mind?”

 

“Well, it’s rather more complicated than that, but we didn’t have a very amicable divorce, that’s for sure.” Bernie toyed with her wine glass, twirling it restlessly.

 

Serena was less diplomatic, “He’s a thoroughly nasty little  _ fucker _ !” she hissed. “He tried to use Bernie’s kids against her and I’ll never forgive him for that.” Bernie put a calming arm around her wife’s shoulders and placed a cool kiss on her temple.

 

“And there ends the lesson never to cross Ms Campbell.” Bernie said to Siobhan, with a grin. “Come on, let’s finish off this wine and head home shall we? Can we drop you off Siobhan?” 

 

“How would you both feel about getting the tiniest bit of revenge on Marcus Piper?” Siobhan had a wicked look on her face.

  
  
  
  


Twenty minutes later, Marcus was looking around the room, trying to locate his date. He wanted to show off his ability to pull a young girlfriend to the group of lecherous, drunken men he had surrounded himself with. Suddenly he spotted her fiery red hair. She seemed to be with a couple of women, arm in arm. 

 

Marcus froze as he recognised the blonde on one side and the salt and pepper brunette on the other. As if feeling his stare, the three woman turned, looked right at him. Almost as though they had practiced, they each simultaneously brought a hand up to their mouth and blew him a kiss, before laughing and walking out of the door together.


End file.
